sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize