yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
