That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
