conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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