Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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