butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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