ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
