My friends, they love my intelligence
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
