he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
