May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
