Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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