i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize