I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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