She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize