How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
