I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
