This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
