just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
