Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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