Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
