the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
