yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
