Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's rum buckets o'clock
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
