also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
