I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
