I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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