I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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