he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
