It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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