I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
