so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
