He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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