She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
