I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
