Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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