wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
be right there i have to get my cape
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize