I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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