Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
