My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
