ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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