I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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