so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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