I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
