I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't deserve a penis
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
