We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
