I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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