How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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