I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
