the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
