fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize