Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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