Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
