life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
