we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
