I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
