she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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