I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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