On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
