he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
